My 21st wedding anniversary is in less than three weeks. I love my wife all year long, but this time of year stirs up all kinds of memories, and makes me re-evaluate my relationship with her.

I like to log all my thoughts down so my children will be able to read them one day when I'm gone. So you'll be seeing a lot of posts about my wife, and about marriage in general.

Here's something I remember fondly. Before we were married, Tisha would bring me hot wings from a local wing place. She'd show up at my school, after school, with piping-hot-hot-wings. She's taken care of my appetite since the beginning. 😃

The first time we went out together (we weren't a couple yet) we were with a youth group at Wendys in Conyers GA. She offered me her French fries and of course I took them, lol. Later on she told me she wanted the fries, but wanted to give them to me. She knew the way to my heart. 😂

She's always taken care of me. She still feeds me well to this day. Those of you that know her know she is basically a 5 star chef. Several women have complimented her on not only the taste of her food but the presentation. I remember one sister that came to our house to eat said "Tisha's food always looks so pretty." Tisha says that people eat with their eyes first.

She always makes my plate for me. When she says it's time to eat, I go sit at the table, and she makes my plate and brings it to me. Please don't think I force her to do that, lol. It's one way she shows me she loves me.

These things that people call little things have made an impact on me. No matter how small a matter, she puts me first. It's really amazing. She is such a good wife.

Sometimes us husbands spend so much time making sure everyone else is taken care of, that we forget to love and nurture our wives.

She's your closest neighbor. She's Yahweh's gift to you. Don't expect her to blossom and grow without water and sunshine.

I've told a lot of men over the years that their job is to love their wife as Christ loved the Church. After almost 21 years, I'm still working on obeying that commandment. I fail a lot, but I don't give up.

If you want to be treated like a King, treat your wife like a Queen. The husband is the head of the wife. That doesn't mean you start bucking up your chest. That means it begins with us husbands. It means it's up to us husbands. We cannot sit idle and just expect something good to happen. We must do our job first, in order for marriage and family to function properly.

Marriage is a covenant between you, your spouse, and the Creator.

No marriage is perfect. It's two sinners loving each other and forgiving each other.

You don't do alone time or private time in marriage. You and your spouse are one flesh. Hang out together.

If you don't keep adding wood to the fire, it goes out. 

Love covers a multitude of sins.

No husband loves his wife like Christ loves the church. He should, but he doesn't.

Have a lot of sex. Then have some more.

Listen to people who've been married for 50 plus years. They gotta know something.

Hold your wife's hand. She likes that.

Don't let yourself go. Nobody's gettin' any younger, but that don't mean we quit combing our hair.

Love keeps no record of wrongs. 

Marriage ain't about making yourself happy. It's about being happy, together.

Drink wine together. The good stuff.

Make anniversaries special.

Repent openly.

Don't stop kissing.

Tell him/her "I love you" and let 'em know you mean it.

Get over the small stuff. Neither of you have it all together.

Open her car door guys.

Pray together, and for each other.

Go to church.

Forgive. Don't bring up the past.

Laugh together. Cry together. Laugh some more together.

Anybody can slow dance. Do it.

Go on dates. Leave your phone in the car.

Most of the time when I tell people that I use the moon for determining the calendar they look at me as though I'm from another planet; one time someone thought I was a Wiccan; go figure.
Most of the time this stems from just a simple lack of knowledge, a lack of knowledge that we all have at one point or another in our life. What we need to learn to do is research what we hear from others. This way we will not pass unrighteous judgment on someone for believing a certain way or ways.

Take this little bit of information about the moon for instance. We use the word "honeymoon" in our culture to speak of the vacation a newlywed couple takes. Have we ever stopped and thought about why we call this time period "honeymoon?" The word honey-moon (originating probably in the 1500's) is a compound word stemming from two words "honey" and "moon." The word "honey" refers to the sweetness of time (or according to some scholars the sweetness of wine) the newly wed couple will have. The word "moon" refers to the time period of the vacation. The word moon is where we get our derivative word "month." Months, in various cultures in the past, where determined by the length of the lunation period, about 29 or 30 days. We see then that we are acknowledging that months used to be determined by the moon every time we speak the word "honeymoon."

We don't ask ourselves enough, "Why do we use this word?" or "Why do we practice this?" The next time someone speaks something to you that sounds strange to your ear, take the time to research what they are saying before jumping to any unfounded conclusions.

Matthew Janzen