Honoring Your Parents

The fifth commandment directs us to honor our father and mother, and most people take this command to only mean respect, saying "Yes Sir; Yes Ma'am" and the like. I do promote honoring your parents in this fashion. I was raised saying "Sir" and "Ma'am" and to this day have a habit of using this speech when talking to people older than myself. We should respect elder people in general for Leviticus 19:32 says, "Thou shalt rise up before the hoary (grey) head, and honor the face of the old man, and fear thy Mighty One: I am Yahweh." 

I would just like to comment on an overlooked aspect of the commandment in Exodus 20:12, and that is material honor. What I mean is that children are called upon to take care of their parents materially, when they are in need, or when they are elderly and unable to take care of themselves. In other words, if my father needs help mowing his lawn or carrying out the garbage when he's unable to do so, I am under obligation by Almighty Yahweh to honor him by doing these chores for him.

In Matthew 15 we find the Pharisees coming to Yeshua and asking him why His disciples trangressed the tradition of the elders. Yeshua replied by asking them why they transgressed the commandment of Yahweh in order to keep their tradition.

"He (Yeshua) answered them, And why do you break Elohim's commandment because of your tradition? For Elohim said Honor your father an your mother; and, The one who speaks evil of father or mother must be put to death. But you say, Whoever tells his father or mother, Whatever benefit you might have received from me is a gift [committed to the temple] he does not have to honor his father. In this way you have revoked Elohim's word because of your tradition." (Matthew 15:4-6)

Commentator Albert Barnes' gives an excellent exposition on this passage and although it is rather lengthy, I offer it for the sake of clarity:

"It is a gift—In Mark it is “corban.” The word “corban” is a Hebrew word denoting a gift. Here it means a thing dedicated to the service of God, and therefore not to be appropriated to any other use. The Jews were in the habit of making such dedications. They devoted their property to God for sacred uses, as they pleased. In doing this they used the word qaarbaan or korban, or some similar word, saying, this thing is “corban,” i. e., it is a gift to God, or is sacred to him. The law required that when a dedication of this kind was made it should be fulfilled. “Vow and pay unto the Lord your God,” Ps. 76:11. See Deut. 23:21. The law of God required that a son should honor his parent; i. e., among other things, that he should provide for his needs when he was old and in distress. Yet the Jewish teachers said that it was more important for a man to dedicate his property to God than to provide for the needs of his parent.

If he had once devoted his property once said it was “corban,” or a gift to God—it could not be appropriated even to the support of a parent. If a parent was needy and poor, and if he should apply to a son for assistance, and the son should reply, though in anger, “It is devoted to God; this property which you need, and by which you might be profited by me, is “corban”—I have given it to God;” the Jews said the property could not be recalled, and the son was not under obligation to aid a parent with it. He had done a more important thing in giving it to God. The son was free. He could not be required to do anything for his father after that. Thus, he might, in a moment, free himself from the obligation to obey his father or mother...

Besides, the law said that a man should die who cursed his father, i. e., that refused to obey him, or to provide for him, or spoke in anger to him. Yet the Jews said that, though in anger, and in real spite and hatred, a son said to his father, “All that I have which could profit you I have given to God,” he should be free from blame. Thus, the whole law was made void, or of no use, by what appeared to have the appearance of piety. No man, according to their views, was bound to obey the fifth commandment and support an aged and needy parent, if, either from superstition or spite, he chose to give his property to God, that is, to devote it to some religious use.

Our Saviour did not mean to condemn the practice of giving to God, or to religious and charitable objects. The law and the gospel equally required this. Jesus commended even a poor widow that gave all her living, Mark 12:44, but he condemned the practice of giving to God where it interfered with our duty to parents and relations; where it was done to get rid of the duty of aiding them; and where it was done out of a malignant and rebellious spirit, with the semblance of piety, to get clear of doing to earthly parents what God required."

One can easily see that the fifth commandment has reference to much more than just respecting one's parents. Yeshua was rebuking the Pharisees for not giving their gift to their parents. Notice, the gift given to Yahweh by the Pharisees should have gone to the parents as an act of honor. To honor one's parents meant (among other things) to take care of them materially when they are not able to watch after themselves.

Other uses of honor in Scripture supporting material giving are found here:

• Honor Yahweh with your possessions: Proverbs 3:9
• Honor Widows that are true Widows: 1 Timothy 5:3
• Honor true Elders who labor in doctrine: 1 Timothy 5:17-18
• Honor your Wife as the weaker vessel: 1 Peter 3:7

Each of these Scriptures would include materially supporting or giving to another person or being. This is Biblical honor.

Matthew Janzen